I can't make this shit up!

Ok, so we have been so busy with school starting, doing the weenie cart, I started a new Posh business, and of course my book being published.  Lucy has been well, and almost...."normal", which I knew I shouldn't have said out loud!  I totally jinxed us when I said that the other day.  We are finally settling down, determining a plan for me to enter back into the work force (actually working from the office) in January, Lucy is in school 1/2 day, Jack is loving 2nd grade....right on track....well, unfortunately, our train derailed a bit today and is going to be stuck in no mans land for a few weeks.
On Friday, Zach's left ear started to swell.  Looked like a swollen lymph node.  No worries, he had a cold, so we chalked it up to that.  He worked the hot dog cart all weekend, and by Sunday morning, he was in excruciating pain.  I told him he better go to the doc in the box in case he had the mumps or something that could affect Lucy and be contagious, so he did.
He came home with a box of lemon heads.  Yes, lemon heads.  I said "What the hell?"  Well, apparently, he has a stone in one of his salivary glands and in order to pass it, you must produce a lot of saliva, thus the lemon heads.  STONE IN WHERE??? we had never heard of such things.  So we googled it.  Don't do that.  I would not recommend you ever google anything that has such graphic pictures! Ow!  So he was suppose to pass a 1/2 inch stone through this tiny pin point duct.  Not gonna happen.  He sucked on lemon heads til he about passed out from the pain.  He even drank vodka tonic to help his through it, as they would not give him any pain meds.  Know why??  Remember when he accidentally took my antidepressants and not his own?? well now on his health record, he is listed as an accidental drug overdose.  Does it say what drug? NOPE!  Nice huh??  We had a chuckle over that.  So yesterday, he said "I cannot deal with this anymore, I am spitting up blood, and I cannot eat". So he made an appointment with an ENT.  We thought a dentist, but we were wrong. They said that they could get him in on Wednesday.
Last night, he couldn't eat, and every time he smelled food, he would salivate, so that made it painful.  He said what is the point of not eating, if I salivate anyhow?  So last night, he commenced on sucking on lemon heads again...to the point where his mouth and lips were numb, and so was his ear.  We decided that could NOT be normal.  When he woke up this morning, he immediately starting calling all ENTs in the area to see if somebody could see him today.  He found one.  And went in.....
So, this is the part where I can't even make this shit up.  Yes...yes..he does in fact have a stone in his salivary gland; however, it is not in a spot that can be taken out with a scope (of course its not, that would be too easy).  So how are they going to get rid of it? Well...they are going to slice a horseshoe around his ear and remove part of the entire gland.  The gland is a goner.  And that isn't even the most exciting news!  It is intertwined with the nerves in his face and ear, so he will lose feeling in the lower left ear, forever.  And there is a small chance of paralysis for his face.  Not common...but 2% chance.  And he will be down and out for over a week.  He goes in next week for surgery.
Yes, life was getting to be normal......sigh.....how silly of us...we are the Webers, nothing is normal