Our dirty little secrets....ssshhhh

I haven't told a confession in a long time.  I think the last time was that I was secretly in love with the security guard at RMH because he had coffee made by 5 am everyday.  A couple of my other cancer moms were talking about dex week, and I was laughing so hard, So, I feel the need to confess again.  Things that should not under any other circumstance be funny, have grown to be quite the entertainment at our house.  How do we get by people ask?  Through humor and coping....some inappropriate and some just plain funny.  Here is a list of ten of our dirty little secrets, these are in no particular order and just a sampling of how we have changed our lives to fit our new "normal".
1. When Lucy lost all her hair.  We used to call her Uncle Fester. We couldn't help it.  She had no idea who we were talking about having never seen the Addams family.  So she would giggle just as much as we did.
2. When Lucy is on steroids, we call her Lucifer and Sybil, and even Raegan from the Exorcist. Of course not to her face but to each other as in code for which face of Lucy you are going to see today.
3. The first time we came home from Memphis, Lucy was standing on a chair watching the microwave, and Zach said "don't get too close to that, it causes......"  We busted up laughing.  Then months down the road we heard Steve Mazan tell the SAME joke.
4. We have funny rituals we also do while Lucy is on steroids.  We don't make eye contact with her, you never make eye contact.  You go to the store and try to stock up on what you think her craving is going to be, and then laugh when you find out it changes.  And we play the game "not it" a lot during that week. You know where something needs to be done and whoever says 123 not it first, wins.  Yes, we are 30 year olds who play that a lot.  During Dex week, we eat in the laundry room.  We hide from lucy.  We even take our favorite foods and hide them.
4. It used to be weird to say or write the word chemo or chemotherapy.  Now we use it a lot.  We use it in such phrases as "Kid for sale comes with her own chemo and food"  And we feel like we have a right to say it as much as we want in any context we want.
5. We aren't as good parents regarding rules and strictness to Lucy as we were/are to Jack.  We realize this isn't right.  You should be fair to all your children.  But when dex comes into play, its like having a house full of ladies on their period.  We give in a lot more than normal.  Just to make her happy and the noise and madness stop.
6. We take prescription medication and aren't ashamed of it.  We actually embrace it and have our jokes surrounding that.  We would like a pez dispenser.  It would be much easier to dispense and store.  But we are afraid the kids will think its candy and steal our stash.
7.We have given up on Jack's homework for a week before. We were so tired.  We actually told him good luck on his spelling test and that he was on his own. Of course he failed miserably and we felt like horrible parents, but it was sooo nice not having to study for a spelling test for a week.
8. We enjoy adult beverages more than we did pre-cancer.  Even on Monday nights.
9. Sometimes when we have had a really really bad and long day but find our minds still racing, we take children's benadryl to help us fall asleep.  double dose.
10.We have learned that we cannot have a conversation while both children are present. For some reason they want nothing to do with us until we want to talk. So we have texting...thank goodness for unlimited data plans.