Yesterday was actually an awesome day! It was the first holiday since we have had leukemia in our lives where it seemed rather "normal". We went to some friends and the kids got swim the afternoon away, we ate from the grill, then we set out to find a new place for fireworks that was a little less crowded than where we usually go. Unlike Easter, we had people to talk to and be around and the kids, specifically Lucy loved getting out. Of course the kids fought a lot and drove us crazy, but that's to be expected ;) at one point, Lucy was holding up her pointer finger to jack and said "it's really my middle finger I'm doing". Jack said "mom, she is actually saying the worst bad word to me ever". That was something lovely he learned on the bus last year and came home asking questions, and guess who picked it up by just that one conversation. Now, they think shit is worse bad word out there, so I went with it. I told Lucy she can't do that, and of course, she said "it's wasn't my middle finger, it was my pointer one". 3 and she already knows the loopholes. I told her it didn't matter, she was acting like it was her middle finger. Ahhh the younger child learns things much faster courtesy of the older brother and the public school system! Jack learned all sorts of things on the bus last year. I can't believe that my first born is going to 6 in 2 weeks!! That just doesn't seem right. When the kids were babies, we were so ready to get out of that phase, especially with jack because we so excited for him to do "firsts", now I want tem
Both back as babies so I can snuggle them up, and so they don't talk back or sass me ;)if somebody told me how my life was going to turn out, and if I wanted to go ahead and proceed knowing all I know, I wouldn't change a moment of it. I hate the fact that we got dealt the hand of a sick child, but Lucy is an amazing strong spirit and people are drawn to her. She has a fiery attitude, and I'm certain she is destined for great things. If I had a choice, I would take the cancer out of her life, but as it is, we have to accept it and realize it's going to make her a lot stronger I've often heard that cancer doesn't define a person, or what he/she is, and I disagree with that. Cancer very much (or any illness) defines who you are. It makes them stronger, it may introduce them to people they may have otherwise not known, it may bring their family unit Stronger or resolve conflict. Lucy will forever have a connection with st Jude, she may make choices in life based on her experience and people she meets through this journey.cancer doesn't define the what, but definitely the who. And it's like that with any tragic event, it's up to the attitude of the beholder. After learning the news of Julian's death, it sure makes our life wonderful. Even in our world, there are always people much worse off than us. I have to remember that. Sometimes I have a bad attitude and feel sorry for us, and I'm not saying pity parties aren't helpful at times, I just need to put them in perspective and have them much less often. It helps when you get to be normal like we yesterday, so here is to more normals and less worries about the future. I cannot control what is going to happen, but I can ensure Lucy is getting the best care, has the most positive attitude, and protect her from The things I do have control over. Same is true with jack. Like I mentioned how he's learning new stuff on the bus, I'm glad he comes to me with those questions an doesn't feel like he's going to be in trouble for asking. And I'm thankful that he is able to share his feelings with me over his sister being sick. To put cancer in perspective on how my children view cancer, yesterday Lucy was playing with our friends' children, and telling them they had to be in the hospital for 10 weeks because she had cancer!! Like it was no big deal. I said "yea, if you want to play make believe with Lucy, it usually involves cancer and chemo, but you always get better". Then jack was chasing Lucy around the house calling her a bald headed chicken and they were giggling so hard. So lesson taken from them: live in our world instead of loath in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment