I know we have been throwing this word around the past week due to the Holidays. Thankful. What does that word mean to you? Happy? Appreciative? Relieved? We can say we are so thankful for many things, but I wonder if people truly understand or mean what they are saying. I'm not saying that people are using the word haphazardly, but I know I used to use it that way. I would say so many times, I am so thankful that I never had a baby with a serious illness, somebody must have known I wouldn't handle that too well. or I am so thankful that isn't my family going through that crisis or tragedy. and then I would also say things like I am so thankful for Fridays, or I am thankful for family, or thank goodness its sunny out today. See what I am getting at? I was very happy about some of those things, and other things I was appreciate, and even others relieved. It wasn't until this year, that I think that word and meaning has taken on a new light. I don't use it as often. And not because I am not thankful for things, but because we have been very fortunate with some very life altering things, that I save it for the "big" guns.
This year all my friends were posting what they were thankful for everyday on FaceBook. And they had some very good things on there. Friends, family, shelter, a job, etc. And its true, I am happy that we have those things as well, but when it came to what I was thankful for...one thing came to mind every single day. St. Jude. I am in debt to them and so very thankful that they gave us another Thanksgiving to spend with Lucy. If it weren't for them, I don't know if we would have had that honor. Irony...11 months ago, if you asked me about St. Jude, I probably couldn't have told you anything. Now, people are afraid to ask because I can talk about it for hours ;)
Speaking of the wonderful Thanksgiving, it was the first family event we have gone to since Christmas last year. It was so nice to walk into grandma and grandpa Weber's house and be greeted with warm hearts and hugs. It was nice to chat with family and let the kids run and play. It was nice to be normal. And I appreciate it even more than I ever have before. Lucy had a blast with her cousins, there was little to no talk about cancer, and we were around "normal" people instead of celebrating another holiday with our cancer crew. Don't get me wrong, I love my new cancer family, but they understand.
So I could only think of one thing to truly be thankful for this year, but in doing so, I have a new appreciation for many things. Listed below are a few:
1. our amazing support system. Family, friends, and even strangers who have fallen in love with our Lucy
2. our cancer family because they understand exactly what we are going through and provide insight and sometimes just a friendly and encouraging smile
3. our employer. without them, we would not be in the situation we are. Many people have sacrificed time with their families so we could take care of ours
4. our home. I love our tiny mansion
5. my son's school. He has amazing teachers that help us through this and work with us
6. Steve Mazan. He has made me look at life differently and has forced me to decide what I want to be when I grow up. It gives new meaning to my life and I'm excited about reaching that goal.
7. Therapy. Without it, I would be an emotional wreck (not that it doesn't happen from time to time)
8. medication...lol goes with #7!
9. Chemo--because with the vile drug, I wouldn't have the opportunity to laugh at my lucy everyday
10. Zach, Jack, Taco, and Lucy. And just because they are #10 doesn't mean they are last in line..this list is in no particular order. I appreciate Zach for his tolerance, new sense of patience, and for being my other half when I needed help getting things done. Jack because he is turning into a kind hearted little boy. He has been very patient with our circumstances, and has to change his entire life for his sister. while we have our ups and downs, he has done so wonderfully and continues to do so with so much love for Lucy. Jack is also smiling a lot more these days. That makes my heart happy. He's a funny kid that makes me laugh, just like his dad. Lucy helps me remember everyday what hell I must have put my mother through ;) ha! Lucy is bright, funny, and unique. I love her spirit and old soul. She reminds to stop and smell the roses. and Taco...Taco helps me fall asleep every night by snuggling right by my side. Taco helps me to calm down at night by sitting with me in my chair to unwind. Taco is a champ at taking Lucy on. She torture him all day which allows us to work on our laptops for work. And Taco makes our life a little more normal.
Last but not least...I am thankful for this blog. I am thankful I can write down my feelings and thoughts and move them from my head. I am thankful that I have loyal readers who give me feedback. I am thankful I have one place to store information about our incredible journey and have it documented so when Lucy has children of their own, they can see how strong their mom was. And I love this blog because I am very proud of it. I feel like I am accomplishing something despite what horrible thing has happened in our life.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, I appreciate our fans.
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