Facebook Psychology-- the meaning of the "un-friending" situation

I remember when I first signed up for FaceBook.  I had been on myspace and was not really liking how much garbage was all over.  So when I saw FB I loved it! It wasn't cluttered with ads and games and nonsense polls.  It was a way, in all honesty, a place for me to have a social outlet since I had two small children at home and I worked full time.  There wasn't much time for a social situation, and I am a VERY social being and craved and needed people in my life.  I would sit up on weekends with a drink or two and chat with friends and laugh my butt off instead of going out to the bars.  I was able to connect with people I haven't seen in years or people who lived far far away.  I was able to link up with family who lived out of state.  This forum took over the need to write letters to friends or in some cases even call them. And for me, that was HUGE, I didn't have "time" and this allowed me that extra time.  

Now, I also remember the first time I got a friend request from somebody I didn't know all that well, and I accepted it because I felt bad if I didn't!  LOL  I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings by not accepting.  There has to be some very powerful psychology surrounding this topic.  And I also remember the first time I sent a friend request that wasn't accepted!  I felt rejected, and like "how dare they".  

FB was my social circle and support and then Lucy got sick.  boy  was it even more powerful at that time than any other.  I was able to update people in a timely fashion with a sentence or two, I was able to reach out for support that I so desperately craved, and more importantly, I was able to have as many people as possible keep Lucy in their thoughts and prayers, which I believe has a strong healing power and good aura.  Well, my friend list jumped during this time.  I now have over 570 FB friends.  And I don't think I know who a lot of them really are.  Here, I couldn't NOT accept friend requests because I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings.  Then something changed.  One of our friends created a "Team Lucy" page for Lucy.  So I no longer had to worry about accepting requests from people I didn't know because if they were truly wanting to be a friend to check on Lucy, they now could....On her page.  Thus, I started to not accept requests.  I had to keep a clear definition between who my true friends and family were and the information I posted to be directed towards them only, and for Lucy's page to stand on its own and serve its purpose.  

So where am I going with all of this??? and why am I posting it on the blog.  Well, today is clean up day, and I'm nervous!!  I have decided to go through my friend list and only keep the ones who I truly interact with and know personally.  So I have decided to start "un-friending" people.  YIKES!  Its part of therapy.  I often say yes to too many things and don't want to let people down or hurt their feelings, and this is a small step of realizing that its ok to just say no every now and then.  

So how do I choose who to keep?  Is there a criteria I should follow?  Where is my list of important features to help me decide?  See...there is a lot of psychology surrounding this.  And I'm reminded of the line in "The social network" where the girl asks her boyfriend "Why does your relationship status say single on FaceBook?"  And she was so mad.  Its funny.  Since we are all connected now 24/7, FB has become a very important part of some people's lives, not all, but many.  And I'm sure Mark Zuckerberg (sp?) knew this as he was developing his network.  And now companies are paying attention and starting to screen your character on the internet and FB before hiring (I don't agree with this and that's another long subject).  

As a first step to my un-friending process, I decided to start with Team Lucy's page.  I can see how many of my 580 friends "like" her page and follow her story.  So I thought that was a good place to start.  If they were truly interested in what I had to say and my life, they would be interested in the health status of my child with cancer.  So that is where I am going to go first.  

In therapy, one of my "homework" assignments is to be responsible TO people not FOR them.  So why some people may think facebook is a silly thing to give this much time, effort and words to, it is a HUGE part of my personal social network. I don't get out of the house much, and having a sick child consumes a lot of my time, so I rely on FB for many many things.   So I am starting by being responsible TO people by unfriending them if they truly aren't my friend. 

Such a simple, seemingly little, and silly task....with so much thought behind it..there has to be psychology surrounding this??!!  Happy Facebooking, tweeting, blogging, and four squaring my friends!!