The Weber 2011 Christmas Letter

I have never done a Christmas letter before, you know the one where you recap the year you had and talk about each person's accomplishments?  Mostly they are "brag" letters at least that is what I have seen on TV.  I've never actually really gotten one before.  But  I decided to go ahead and give it a shot, and see if I can recap our year month by month in words, and then follow with a picture slide show....so sit back, grab a cup of coffee, maybe a kleenex or two (it is going to be about a 3 year old with cancer and her family), and enjoy my version of our year in review.
Wow!  Almost 52 weeks of treatment is coming up for our Lubelle and family.  52 weeks of chemotherapy, procedures, trips to Memphis, trips to Peoria, many scares, a couple close calls, and lots and lots of therapy for all 4 of us Webers.  It was also a year of isolation and learning to live a new "normal".  Our friends, family, and work had to adjust to our new circumstances, even Taco had to pitch in and help out every now and then. We learned this year about the kindness of strangers, the distance of friends and family, and that Disney World is NOT the great place on Earth, but rather, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.
We started 2011 off in a hospital room.  A tiny St. Jude hospital room.  Lucy was running a fever and was not able to leave the room to join in the party festivities they were having down stairs.  I still remember her hair was sticking out all over the place (she refused to let us wash it), she had tired eyes, but still managed to pull a smile off to take pictures with baby White and some balloons.  She couldn't get out of bed for more than a few minutes without being exhausted.  A trip to the Juke Box down stairs wore her out, or even to the play room on the same floor.  We would go and return to our room in about 5 minutes.  She loved going to the juke box and listening to the Beatles when she felt good enough.

We spent January and February as a broken family.  Zach and Lucy were in Memphis until the middle of February, and I was back and forth between there and home, and Jack was shuffled from grandma to grandma and finally back home with me.  February was also the month we received the news that our sweet Lucy was cancer free.  No signs of leukemia cells in her bone marrow, spinal fluid, or blood.  We had a lot of fighting to do, but we were heading in the right direction.  Lucy lost her hair in those few weeks, and her spirit seemed to go deep down in side to fight the monster we call cancer.

In February,we were introduced to our affiliate in Peoria and the wonderful staff.  We were nervous to leave Dr. Pui and A clinic in Memphis, but were also ready to come home!  For the remainder of March, April and May we traveled back and forth from Illinois to Memphis many times.  We also got to see a Beatles tribute band, walk in the local relay for life, help with a fundraiser from Jack' school and present St. Jude with a $1000 check.  We went to a ball for the Ronald McDonald House of Memphis and were on the radio to help them raise money.  We also spent our first holiday, Easter, alone in our home instead of having all of our family over.

In June, we had a reprieve from Memphis and just had to visit Peoria every week.  Jack started baseball, the weather was warmer, so Lucy got to go outside more, and we started to become less germophobes. We still stayed pretty much in the confines of our living space.  We also got to do our first fund raiser for St. Jude at a golf outing.
July brought us Jack's 6th birthday, and a trip back to Memphis for another 4 weeks of heavy hitting chemo.  Again, we were separated as a family for most of this time.
August was the start of a new school year for Jack.  He found that he had a love for PE and that first grade was going to rock because he was "in a grade" now.  We also started to notice some emotional issues rising to the surface.  Jack started seeing his first therapist at the ripe age of 6.   Lucy also had a rough august as she wanted to know why she couldn't go to school or daycare to see all of her friends.  We "played" school as much as we could, and that girl breezed through almost an entire year of a curriculum in one month.  Boy how she loved the interaction and keeping her brain busy.
August was also our first St.Jude telethon and we had a comedian come all the way from LA just help our family out.

September was another 4 weeks of hard hitting chemo and a scare at the end of that round with an allergic reaction to a medication.  September also marked the end of all heavy hitting chemo's and put us in long term maintenance that was a treatment protocol that will last us until July of 2013.  September is Childhood cancer awareness month, which I was not aware of until my child got cancer....huh...go figure.  When we close our eyes to the things we do not want to see, they may still be there, but not in the forefront of our daily lives.  Sometimes our eyes are forced open, as ours were.
October the kids had a blast with Halloween, I got to reach out to a lot of people and do some more talking about St Jude and helping to raise awareness and money. October was also another scare.  We received news that there were abnormal cells in Lucy's spinal fluid.  We had to wait 4 weeks to find out if she had relapsed or not.  Longest 4 weeks of my life.  We got good news at the end of our wait, unlike many of the friends we have met along our journey.

November we got back in the swing of things with our new normal.  We did another fundraiser for St. Jude, and actually started maintaining a routine.  Zach, Jack, and I attend therapy on a weekly basis.  Lucy does clinic in Peoria once a week and physical therapy for the damage that the chemo has caused to her legs.  Taco is happy that he is home on a regular basis and not either locked up in his cage or sent off to be with family, although he loved his mini vacations at Uncle Denny and Aunt Cheryl's.  He was King.

Now for what each individual has accomplished for the year.  I'll start with Zach.
Zach is no longer afraid of needles.  He used to pass out at the sight of blood, and now he loves our O+ bags.  Zach has come to the realization that if a 3 year old can get cancer and be on the brink of death, life is too short to worry about anything that doesn't matter.  He is a thrill seeker now.  His plans for 2012 will probably include some sort of bungee jumping or learning to jump from an airplane.  He is no longer afraid of heights.  He has learned a lot about carpentry, water treatment, and chemotherapy.
Me...what have I accomplished over the last year?  I have learned how to write my feelings out in order to get them out of my head and be able to move on day by day.  I have learned to live day by day, something I was never very good at.  I have also found that I love writing, and I always have, and plan on putting that love to good use.  I love to talk about our experience if it helps just one other family.  I want people to be aware. I have learned that I can say what is on my mind and not fear what others will think about me, only how it makes me feel.  I have learned to let go of controlling every situation.  I have learned that I have two very special children who are going to grow up and be strong, productive members of this society based on their experience in the last year.  And I have learned that its the little things in life that matter and give us happiness.
Jack, boy Jack sure has accomplished a lot.  He became a cancer sibling.  Something that nobody would wish upon their children, but yet he did it with such strength.  He learned to deal with his sister while she is on mood altering steroids.  He has learned to be away from his home, family, and his entire life.  Jack has dealt with anger, and is continuing to do so with each therapy session he has.  He has grown up a lot more than just a year in the past year.  He is wise beyond what a 6 year old should have to know.  He learned about death this year, and he learned about life.  Jack is strong, handsome as always, and going to make one lady very happy when he grows up.
Lucy, what has Lucy accomplished?  Well, she beat cancers ass and continues to do so in the most fashionable way.  Lucy also learned to live without many friends and rely on her mom and dad and poor Taco for companionship.  Lucy has learned the names of several different medications and chemos and what each does.  Lucy has bound a group of individuals who don't know one another with her amazing spirit.  She has a following of loyal fans because in reality, Lucy hasn't changed all that much this year.  Sure she lost her hair, and she had to deal with more change than ever before.  But she is the only one out of the 4 of us who doesn't need therapy.  Who understands that cancer sucks, but only for as long as you let it.  Lucy has accomplished fundraising for St. Jude in a large amount, and she has spread awareness to strangers because of her amazing spirit and old soul.  Lucy has become the most grown up 4 year old that I know who can throw down a temper tantrum with the best of them ;)
So this was just a recap of a small part of our entire year.  We learned a lot about life...and death.  We have dealt with more children dying this year than I would have ever imagined my entire would be filled with.  And we have tried to learn to go on, and never forget those precious angels who had an impact on us for the short time they were on Earth.
We are looking forward to 2012.  Every day brings us closer to the end of our treatment.  and Every day allows us to appreciate one another even more, even when the kids are fighting (thank goodness for normal).   So here is to a healthy, happy, and cancer free 2012.......

Love,
The Webers