Choices

We have our one year diagnosis anniversary coming up the day after Christmas.  And it was becoming a huge point of anxiety among Zach and I.  We were nervous, and a bit superstitious around what that day means.  Then we talked with our therapist about it, and sometimes, he's so simple, its ridiculous that we didn't get things on our own.  We told him we were stressed out and he asked why.  We said "well, we found out she got cancer that day".  He said "So?"  And when we thought about it, we had no reaction to give him.  He said "why are you giving that day so much power?"  Good question.  He suggested we spin it around and look at the positives from that day not the negatives.  Positives, we thought?  What the hell was positive about the day she got cancer?  Is this man insane?  Come to find out he's actually pretty smart.  He pointed out some very good positives.  That day was the day we were welcomed in the St. Jude family (the best place to be if your child has cancer).  If we had waited a day, we could have not been accepted because they could have had another 3 year old, white, female girl to fill the spot on the research program.  That day was the day we would become linked with the BEST leukemia doctor in the world.  Dr. Pui.  He's world renowned and sought after in many countries.  That day was the day we started healing Lucy.  While the healing part is hard, its healing none the less.  Had we waited any longer, she could have been far worse off in the disease process.  We gave her life by having her treated that day.  So there are a lot of positives from that day if we choose to look for them.  So instead of loathing that day, we have decided to celebrate it.  Its our diagnosis anniversary, and we plan on spending that day as a family and celebrating life.  I wanted to share a story with you that my therapist gave me.  It's a little long, but totally worth the read.  Author unknown.  Once you read it, you will see what I mean about the choices we have in life.  Enjoy ;)

Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate.  He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.  When someone would ask him how he was doing he would say “if I was any better I’d be twins”. 

He was a natural motivator.  If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how they could look at the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious.  So one day I went up to Michael and asked him “I don’t get it!  you can’t be a positive person all of the time.  How do you do it?”

Michael replied “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today.  You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.  I choose to be in a good mood!  Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it.  I choose to learn from it.  Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life.  I choose the positive side of life”.

“yeah, right, it’s not that easy”, I protested.

“yes, it is,” Michael said.  “Life is about choices.  When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.  You choose how you react to situations.  You choose how people affect your mood.  Your bottom line:  It’s your choice how you live life”.

 

I reflected on what Michael said.  Soon after I left the company to start my own business.  We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.  Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet off a communications tower.  After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw Michael about 6 months after his accident.  When I asked him how he was he replied, “If I was any better, I’d be twins.  Want to see my scars?” I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what went through his mind as the accident took place.  “The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon to be born daughter”, Michael replied.  “then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices.  I could choose to live or I could choose to die.  I choose to live”

“Weren’t you scared?  Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.  Michael continued “..the paramedics were great.  They kept telling me that I was going to be fine.  But when they wheeled me into the ER, and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I really got scared.  In their eyes, I read “he’s a dead man”. I knew that I needed to take action”

“What did you do?” I asked.  “Well, there was this burly nurse shouting questions at me” said Michael.  “She asked if I was allergic to anything.  Yes I replied”  The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.  I took a deep breath and yelled “Gravity”.

Over their laughter, I told them “I am choosing to live.  Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead”. Michael lived thank to the skill of his doctors and nurse, but also because of his amazing attitude.  I learned from him that every day we have the choice to life fully.  Attitude, after all, is everything”.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own”.  After all today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.